Stuck between a rock and a hard place and god fucking forbid I say one tiny little thing to you about it. Youre letting your guilt eat you alive and taking it out on me when instead you should take that energy and put it into something positive. Something other then barking at me because I politely tell you to go to work tomorrow if you feel better.
Truth of the matter is: this is the peak in the situation right now, its all down hill from here until theres another source of income. We can afford rent this month and maybe your car payment and thats it. THATS IT. Were going to fall behind in all other bills and wont be able to pay them because its going to take everything I make next month to pay the rent again.
Can you see that? Can you see whats going to happen next month? If you do, you dont show it.
Sigh, I need my therapist. I need 3 hours with her and I need a beer while doing it. I need to vent and rant and cry in the safe place she provides me and I need her to give me a different way to look at all of this, I need that positive spin she puts on all my negative situations. I need her to tell me why relapsing would be bad, because right now it sounds like a great escape from the reality of things and the emotions I feel inside